Take Patrick Willis, that pugnacious linebacker from the San Francisco 49ers, and morph his abilities into those of Adrian Peterson, the running back of the Minnesota Vikings who runs like a muscle car with turbo injection.
Smash their respective talents into a big ball, mix it up and what do you get?
Well, that would be Landon Hayes.
Hayes is a senior offensive and defensive star for the 4-1 Soda Springs Cardinals.
Let’s go to a moment from Soda’s 36-6 victory last Friday against American Falls.
Hayes flew in and met a Beaver running back in the hole on a dive play. He laid down the boom like a hammer to a nail. It was spectacular — awesome with a capital A (in my best Dick Vitale impression).
One problem, though — it was clearly a helmet-to-helmet collision because of the resounding pop that echoed from Soda Springs to Bancroft and back.
Ten years ago, shoot, five years ago, that kind of hit would have been plastered on highlight shows across the country every Friday, Saturday and Sunday night. The flag flew in for an illegal hit. Boos rained down from the Cardinal faithful. More than anything, I think they knew that it was an illegal hit, but Hayes is so spectacular at what he does fans didn't want to see the play nullified by a personal foul call.
Hayes did provide a smorgasbord of other opportunities for Soda fanatics to go nuts. Against the overmatched Beavers, Hayes racked up touchdowns on the ground, in the air, via both passing and catching, and he returned a fumble 20 yards for six points, too.
Hayes’ offensive stat line against American Falls: One pass for 23 yards and touchdown. Nine rushing attempts for 78 yards and a touchdown. One catch for 25 yards and a touchdown. And a recovered fumble he scooped up and rumbled with into the end zone.
By my count, he had his hands on the ball 12 times, and four of those turned into scores. That's a touchdown every third time he touched the pigskin.
And that followed a four-touchdown performance the week before against Marsh Valley.
Listen, he wasn't the only reason Soda pounded AF. Heck, I'm not even sure he was the biggest reason. After the game, Soda head coach Brent Erickson pointed to how his offensive and defensive lines manhandled their opponent in the trenches.
Hayes' contributions, however, extend beyond what he provides from a statistical perspective. He missed most of Soda's first two games with an injury. The Cardinals' offense slogged though a 6-0 victory against West Jefferson. And then they lost in Montpelier to Bear Lake 19-7.
Hayes returned for game No. 3, and Soda's offense, coincidentally or not, took off, slapping point totals of 34, 31 and 36 on scoreboards in three-straight victories, with Hayes posting eight total touchdowns.
So we have five games of evidence, hardly a sample size of any substance, but we’re still left with a good idea of one thing.
With Landon Hayes on the field, Soda's offense is averaging 37 points per game. With Hayes out, that point total drops to 6.5.
Is Hayes really worth 30.5 points a night? Maybe not. But for the sake of Soda's playoff aspirations, Cardinal fans hope it’s something close.
I've written this before, but West Side, ranked No. 3 in the 2A statewide media poll, Aberdeen, Malad and Soda Springs are shaping up for a royal rumble in the next three weeks.
Four teams, and three will survive to see the postseason. This year, the Cardinals play both Aberdeen (this Friday) and West Side (Oct. 24) on the road with a home game against Malad (Oct. 18) sandwiched in between.
If Soda is going to be one of thre three survivors, Hayes will have to continue his Adrian Peterson, Patrick Willis impersonation to maximum effect.
I don’t think that’ll be a problem.
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