The return of Tim Tebow

During every NBA Finals game, we’re subjected to 30 seconds of television as cringeworthy as an episode of Teen Mom on MTV. By this point we all know the interviews between quarters with the impatient coach and timid sideline reporter are terrible, useless and futile.

It’s the playoffs, the most important games of the season. No matter what a coach accomplishes in the regular season, their livelihood is at stake if they don’t deliver in the playoffs — just ask 2012-13 NBA Coach of the Year George Karl, previously with the Denver Nuggets.

"So, coach, LeBron just scored 12 straight points and the Heat are up by 19 after the third quarter. What do you need to do better in the fourth to make a game of it?”

“Well, uh, that guy is pretty good. He just made shots.”

You know what, I’d almost — almost — rather watch another 30-second Capital One commercial than another in-game head coach interview.

But at least those sound bites are quick and we can all move on after the action picks back up again in the ensuing quarter, something that’s impossible during press conferences with New England Patriots head coach Bill Belichick.

Whether his team just won a playoff game or it’s the start of fall camp, Belichick takes the podium, reluctantly. He’s well-known for his short, vague answers that reveal no emotions, and, certainly, never venture into any kind of answer that could give away a game plan or provide bulletin-board quotes for an opposing coach (as if Patriot opponents need any kind of added motivation to beat New England).

It’s not yet mid-June and Belichick was already in midseason form behind the podium as he answered questions about the Patriots’ newest free-agent signing. You might have heard something about it. It seems like one or two of the major media outlets covering the NFL mentioned TIM TEBOW HAS SIGNED WITH THE NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS.

Tebow was cut by the dumpster fire known as the New York Jets April 29, about 26 months after finding Demaryius Thomas for an 80-yard touchdown in the first play of overtime during the Denver Broncos’ 29-23 playoff victory, beating the Pittsburgh Steelers.

Since that magical, unbelievable, reason-to-watch-sports moment, Tebow’s NFL career has been on a precipitous decline.

Tebow was traded from the Broncos to the Jets in March of 2012. He threw eight passes — completing six — for 39 yards and he ran the football 32 times for another 102 yards. Tebow never scored nor did he commit a turnover (he had 29 touchdowns and 15 turnovers with the Broncos).

Since Tebow was cut by the Jets, NFL insiders and pundits speculated that his time in the league was over. Few teams appeared even mildly interested in the 25-year-old lefty.

That’s until the Patriots and cheery Belichick stepped in and offered Tebow a two-year contract for the veteran minimum that includes no guaranteed money.

Coach, what do you think of your new quarterback?    

“Anything we do is in the best interest of the team,” Belichick said during a news conference Tuesday. “Tim’s a talented player that’s smart and works hard, so we’ll see how it goes.”

Coach, how much consideration did you give to the idea that Tebow’s value might be outweighed by the amount of media attention he’ll bring?

“None, (we) try to do what’s best for the team.”

How do you plan to use him? What position?

“We’re going to do what’s best for our football team. We’ll see.”

Do you think you might use him on special teams, defense, an additional offense?

“I don’t know. We’ll see.”

Belichick answered every question with his typical dry, monotone voice and he did his very best to repeat as many times as he could the mantra Tim Tebow is a talented player who works hard.

So as of now, the Patriots have three quarterbacks on their roster. Tebow, Ryan Mallett and Tom “Tebow is never going to take a snap away from me in the red zone” Brady.

From the outside looking in it’s just as likely the Patriots will cut Tebow before New England’s first game of the 2013 season as it is he’ll make it through the entire year in a Patriots’ uniform.

And if Tebow does survive the rigors of fall camp and suits up for that opening game, no one knows if he’ll play quarterback, full back, h-back, tight end or clip board holder on the sideline.

But we do know that Belichick isn’t going to tell anyone outside of the Patriots’ organization a thing — other than, you know, he’s a hard worker, talented and smart.

It’s June, the first game of the NFL season is 84 days away and Tim Tebow is back. So step aside the NBA Finals and Tiger Wood’s personal life, the biggest non-story in sports has returned.