Cheerleading is a sport — there I said it

My wife is a pen clicker. Give her a writing instrument with a clicky top and she’ll proceed to hammer away like a madwoman possessed to find out how many clicks it takes to break a pen’s soul.

It grinds my gears.

If she attains a clicky pen in my presence, I do my very best to steal it faster than Kobe can shriek “Ow!” after snapping his Achilles (totally not D’Antoni’s fault, by the way).

When she does something that’s a pet peeve of mine, I take it away from her, in essence, treating my beautiful, smart wife like a 3-year-old. That’s my solution to a problem.

It really grinds her gears.

Solving issues with that kind of methodology might work for domestic home disputes (of a benign nature), but, generally, treating adults like adults is the smartest, least-resistant route when solving a problem.

So here’s a real-world quandary: Is cheerleading a sport?

Type “Is c” into Google and, in all of its suggestive powers, the search engine guesses what you’d like to know ...

“Is coffee bad for you?”

(I’ve verified. It’s not.)

“Is college worth it?”

(Yep.)

“Is coup contagious?”

(I’m far, far too terrified to even Google, “What is coup?”)

The fourth option: "Is cheerleading a sport?”

Yes and no. When cheerleaders are hanging out on a sideline waving glittery pom-poms, smiling and leading cheers, it’s not a sport. Obvious, right?

But there’s this other thing that falls under the umbrella of cheerleading — competitive cheer, which, my friends, is most definitely a sport.

Idaho hosted a dance and cheer state championship last month (Highland won the cheer competition), and that’s a great thing. It means that cheering competitions in this state fall under the National Federation of State High School Associations’ regulations.

Why is that important?

Cheerleading — once an activity where young girls gathered to, yep, you guessed it, lead cheers — has developed so far beyond the simple definition of “an enthusiastic and vocal supporter” that comparing it to what cheerleaders do today is like assuming the landline phone at all resembles a smartphone.

There were approximately 600,000 cheerleaders six years and older in 1990. That number skyrocketed to 3.6 million by 2003.

While cheerleading has grown in popularity, so have the number of injuries. In 1980, the US Consumer Product Safety Commission reported 4,954 emergency room visits for cheerleaders.

Seventeen years later, it’s 26,786. According to a November 2012 report from the American Academy of Pediatrics, “The overall risk of injury is lower in cheerleading than in most other sports, the risk of direct catastrophic injury is considerably higher.”

Since cheerleading can lead to lacerated spleens, fractured vertebrae, mangled ankles and concussions, there are those who prefer we never call it a sport. By their estimation, we’d eliminate state cheer competitions and anything else more aggressive than, “Go! Fight! Win!”

But unlike how I deal with my wife and her zeal for clicking pens, simply taking away what makes cheerleading, cheerleading isn’t the solution.

It’s grown and evolved into the sport it is today because young women want to do more than stand on a sideline.

Are some of the stunts and human pyramids dangerous? Unquestionably.

So is flying in Cessna, eating a cheeseburger in a dirty diner and stepping out one’s own front door.  

Instead, IHSAA’s current trend of accepting cheerleading for what it is — a sport — moves us in the right direction, helping ensure cheer competitions are monitored and supervised by qualified and certified coaches.

And the dangerous stunts that generally lead to many of the debilitating injuries are only performed on floors covered with mats. Improve the game, don’t eliminate it.

Don’t take away the pen. Provide one with a cap.

Michigan versus Louisville, a worthy championship affair

That men’s national championship was so fun that I’m almost inclined to take back all the mean things I’ve said about Capital One’s embarrassingly bad commercials over the duration of the tournament.

There are several key ingredients that can transform any game into a must-see, you’ll-talk-about-it-with-your-friends-for-the-next-week event. Michigan and Louisville delivered in numerous key areas.

It has to be a game of major importance.

Clearly, a national championship fits here, but so do rivalry games or unusual contests like Miami’s 27-game winning streak coming to an end in Chicago against the Bulls.

As an added bonus, Louisville head coach Rick Pitino was gunning for his second national title to become the first coach to win championships for more than one program.

It has to feel like the atmosphere is about to pop the ceiling off.

I can’t stand how the Final Four is played in cavernous football stadiums better suited for monster truck shows than basketball, a game played on a court that’s 94 feet long and 50 feet wide.

Monday night, however, was a legitimate, big-game setting. The announced attendance was 74,326, and by a rough estimation, about 15,000 could actually make out the action on the floor. But large, rowdy student sections behind each basket ramped up the noise level.

Fan bases from both schools arrived in force and each was boisterous. Of course, it helped that everyone had something to scream about because ...
 
There were unexpected storylines.

By this point, we all know Spike Albrecht was averaging less than two points a game before erupting for a career-high 17 against the Cardinals — and all of Spike’s points came in the opening 20 minutes when he had to play extended minutes filling in for Trey Burke, who was saddled with two fouls.

My wife doesn’t watch sports, but she was captivated by the kid who looks like he should still be back in Crown Point, Ind., hitting jumpers for Northfield Mount Hermon.

Also, there’s something I don’t want us to overlook. What’s more likely to happen again? A freshman with a career high of seven points scores 17 points in 16 minutes — including 4-for-4 from the 3-point line — or there’s another player in the NCAA tournament with the nickname Spike?

And the last key ingredient for an unforgettable game is that there’s major swings of momentum.

Take a matchup with meaning, play it in front of thousands of screaming, hysterical fans, add a few doses of Luke Hancock and Spike Albrecht draining a combined nine 3-pointers and you’ll have a tasty brew.

But when there are 12-point leads evaporating in the blink of an eye — about the same time it takes for a bearded guy to enter off the bench and rain in four 3-pointers, flipping a double-digit deficit into a one-point grinder — and momentum is swinging back and forth like a typical Cowboys’ regular season — it’s a potion for 40 minutes of beautiful basketball.

With four ties and seven lead changes, we were hitched to the edge of our seats, knowing no lead was safe. Who knew which player would hit the game’s next big shot?

Here’s a few parts of a conversation I had with a buddy, Tony, while texting one another Monday night.

Tony: Hey! You watchin’ this!!!!!!!

(Tony likes using exclamation points when he’s excited. Can you tell!?)

Tony: I don’t know man. ... Atmosphere seems pretty good.

(Tony also likes arguing with me about anything I feel strongly about. Therefore, he has to rub in the fact the national championship’s ambiance was worthy of a title match — even if it was played in a capacious, lifeless football stadium.)

Tony: Geez....Now this is basketball!!!!!!

(A one-way conversation, I realize, but you try and get a word in with this guy.)

Tony: March Madness at its finest! What a game! LET THE BOYS PLAY!!!!!

(Clearly, at this point, Tony’s fingers were flying across his phone’s keyboard to try and get across the point that watching two teams attack one another by playing fast, shooting 3-pointers or flying to the rim is amazing. Why don’t we have more games like Monday night’s?)

Kyle: I’m so sick of Clark Kellogg.

(I’m always sort of a downer, but I can’t help it. Kellogg drives me nuts.)

Tony: Can you imagine if we had GUS!!!!!

(Tony is referring to sportscaster Gus Johnson. Johnson called NCAA Tournament games from 1996 to 2011 before he left CBS to join FOX.)

Kyle: Basketball orgasm.

(Gus Johnson’s over-the-top enthusiasm would have fit perfectly with the Louisville-Michigan up-tempo, high-scoring run of play.)

Kyle: It’s a crime we don’t.

Kyle: An absolute crime.

Tony: It truly is.

Kyle: Let’s prosecute.

Tony: Sign a petition!

Kyle: In the petition, can I include a section outlawing ALL Capital One commercials?

(No matter how good the game was, I just can’t let those Capital One commercials go.)

Brittney Griner was an incredible college player — can’t that stand on its own?

Mark Cuban said he’d consider drafting Baylor’s Brittney Griner in the second round of the upcoming NBA draft in June.

Like sheep herding to their slaughter, the media immediately picked up on the quote and ran with it to feed the all-consuming, 24-hour media monster.

For a couple days, talking TV heads and radio hosts across the country could blabber incessantly for a few minutes about whether Griner could play with the boys and if not, who could.

Miami Heat forward Shane Battier told ESPN.com that in his opinion, “There’s no doubt that in our lifetime, there will be a woman NBA player.”

Honestly, I don’t care. The fact that Danica Patrick is female and racing cars with the boys doesn’t add significant interest to Nascar for me. I’d like to think that in the past couple decades we’ve come to accept the notion you don’t have to be a big, burly guy to turn a steering wheel or shift gears. I mean, Joey Logano can do it.

When Annika Sörenstam or Michelle Wie were vying to play on the PGA Tour, it was hard to ignore Sörenstam. She seemed to view the opportunity of playing with the men as a challenge, a chance to challenge herself at another level.

Wie, however, a teenage girl who hadn’t even beaten her fellow competitors in the LPGA, was purely a marketing stunt and an embarrassment for those involved.

And now the media is embarrassing itself by providing Cuban a platform for a publicity stunt, a moment to hog the spotlight and sell a few more tickets for Dallas’ summer league team. And it’s a hot headline for reporters (CUBAN WANTS TO DRAFT BAYLOR’S BRITTNEY GRINER — A WOMAN!).

It speaks to the essence of how many — far, far too many — view female sports. It’s not enough that Griner finished her college career with more blocks than anyone else in college history.

It’s not enough that Griner averaged 22.2 points a game in her four-year career. We have to validate her accomplishments through the prism of whether she could compete with the boys.

Sure, Griner’s good, but we can’t fully appreciate her contributions to the game until she plays with the men.   

Keep in mind, this entire bizarre story revolves around one of the greatest women’s college basketball players — ever. After Baylor was upset by Lousiville in the Sweet 16, the conversation should have started with how she’ll do in the WNBA.

Instead, with Cuban’s comments unleashed on the Internet, discussions of an all-time great shifts to what Griner can’t do.

The matter of Griner’s ability in relation to men is moot. If she does strap on a pair of sneakers with the true intent to play in the NBA, she’d better be doing it for cash, lots and lots of cash.

If Griner even puts a toe on the floor with NBA players — full grown men that make her large, intimidating physique look like an overgrown toothpick — she’d only hamper her own image and further perpetuate the idea that women are physically inferior.

Can Griner dunk like Lebron, dominate the post like Dwight Howard (OK, maybe she could on this one) or run the floor like Kenneth Faried? No.

But that doesn’t take away anything from one of the great college careers in history.

I should note that Griner took to Twitter to respond to Cuban’s comments, writing, “I would hold my own! Lets do it.”

If she feels that way, great. Undoubtedly, Griner’s confidence helped carry her to some of the vast feats she achieved while in Waco. If she doesn’t mind the idea of making a few bucks at the expense of her dignity, great for her.

But I hope Cuban — a seemingly smart guy, if not a publicity hound drunk on reading his own quotes — can avoid the temptation of allowing Griner to have the chance.

Observations from the men’s NCAA tournament

Ah, March Madness, the best three weeks of a sports fan’s (or degenerate gambler’s) year.

A time when a nation gathers to root for brackets, a chance to win the office pool and Cinderellas everywhere (but only to a certain degree. Let’s be honest, watching Cinderella is fun until two of them get together at the dance. At that point, it’s just a mid-major matchup that draws more yawns than ardent cheers.)

It’s an addicting event that enslaves my attention with both its unpredictability and one-loss format. The drama of a good tournament game cannot be replicated.

But March Madness isn’t perfect. I’ve got a few suggestions for what should be fixed and since it’s Wednesday, I ranked them by importance.

Without further ado.

1. We have to fix the block-charge call in basketball.
OK, admittedly, this first suggestion doesn’t actually have anything to do with the event, March Madness. But changing the way the block-charge call is handled is crucial to the game.

I’m not here to criticize officials, because, unquestionably, they’re doing the best they can. This isn’t about fixing what the referees are doing but instead modifying how the game is officiated.

Right now, too many times, when a player attacks the basket and rises in the air for a layup or dunk, and then slams into a defender, the default call is a charge.

By blowing the whistle in favor of the defense, we’ve encouraged defenders to slide underneath airborne offensive players.

The NCAA installed a restricted-area arc three feet from the center of the basket for the 2012 season — and that’s helped — but now it’s about educating referees.

By calling more blocks (or not blowing their whistle at all) officials can encourage players to drive the lane with greater regularity, creating a better, more fluid game. I want players to feel free to unleash their athleticism to the fullest degree on the offensive end.
   
2. They’ll never quit now, but stop playing in football stadiums.
In the women’s NCAA tourney — a worthy event any basketball should tune into (I see you Louisville!) — one thing that’s always stuck out for me is how you can hear cheerleaders chanting.

In guy’s games, you never hear them because the crowds — generally — are so much larger and louder. Really, for me, the atmosphere in the men’s game is the only reason why watching the boys is better experience. Are you really telling me that watching Montana and Marquette miss a combined  23-of-107 attempts against Syracuse’s zone is better than the Lousiville women pulling off a shocking upset of Baylor?

Many times it’s because the big-game atmosphere in a basketball gym with rowdy fans translates through the television.

But — and this is a big BUT — games in Lucas Oil Stadium, Cowboys Stadium or the Final Four at the Georgia Dome in Atlanta Saturday neutralizes that effect.

All of a sudden, I can hear cheerleaders and those guys with their gigantic megaphone things yelling incessantly.

When playing a basketball game in a football facility it’s impossible to copy that feeling of a cramped, claustrophobic, intimate atmosphere that can make basketball special.

Granted, when Trey Burke bombed in that 30-footer against Kansas in the South Regional semifinal it was a remarkable, must-see moment regardless of where they played.

And the Final Four, with all its pizzazz, pomp and circumstance, will sound and look fine in Atlanta. But the fact they sell more tickets to the event doesn’t do me — or television viewers — a lot of good.

3. It’s time we take a stand for something, so let’s outlaw anymore Capital One commercials.
In particular, we must cease all commercials with Alec Baldwin, Charles Barkley and Greg Anthony. They’re “turrible” as Sir Charles would likely say if he wasn’t silenced by Capital One’s muzzle money.

Capital One’s ads are so bad I have to avoid every commercial break like Ole Miss’s Marshall Henderson avoids passing.

The problem with Capital One and its commercials is that — and I’m making an assumption here — they hired the writers of all those Saw movies. The jokes — referring to Barkley’s underwear, for example — are so amateurish and out of taste, it’s incomprehensible they’re on television.
   
4. Can we all stop decreeing a team or a conference as overrated or underrated based on the NCAA tournament?
The Big East is overrated (Georgetown goes down to Florida Gulf Coast) and underrated (Louisville coasts to the Final Four). Gonzaga is overrated (Wichita State knocks off the Zags in the round of 32) and Gonzaga isn’t so overrated (after that same Wichita State squad blasts La Salle and Ohio State to make the Final Four).

On and on we could go. The tournament does not validate or invalidate an entire season’s worth of games. Gonzaga earned that No. 1 seed because the Bulldogs were 31-2 during the season and beat teams like Kansas State, Oklahoma State, Davidson and Oklahoma.

Losing to the Shockers — who had to hit 14 3-pointers while shooting 50 percent from the perimeter — doesn’t erase Gonzaga’s feats during a memorable 2013-13 season. Teams don’t earn their seeds retroactively.